Harem Paradise, An Alternate Universe Island
by TwoSidesOfACrazyCoin
Summary: Because of a crazy writer and a couple of magical beings who call themselves Harem Fairies, France is stuck in an island called Harem Paradise. Everyone in the island wanted to basically make love with France, and they all look like certain countries. But they couldn't be... right? Now EDITED to be considered a story. Actually, no. Its cancelled. Sorry.
1. Prologue

**YO! I have finally decided to write my own fanfiction! And it's about France-nii-sama!**

**I don't own Hetalia!**

**Okay, let's start!**

France stared at the two girls in front of him.

They were twins, with the same purple eyes and black hair. One was grinning in an evil way, while the other kept sighing and looking worried.

"Pardon Mesdemoiselles, but can you repeat that?" France asked, completely shocked.

"I said, we're here to give you a single wish and-"the grinner had to stop herself from laughing.

The other just sighed," And we'll help you fulfill it," she continued for her sister.

"What are you?"France asked," You're not one of Angleterre's... friends, are you?"

"Of course we're friends with that dude," the grinner grinned wider," He's great when he's not being too tsundere. But we're not talking about that now!"

"Please make a wish, monsieur!" the second one pleaded," She will do things… unless you get going!"

The tone in her voice filled France's head with naughty thoughts that made him smile and think of a harem with those two girls. They weren't that young, so why not? They already looked 18 anyways…

"tell me your name first, mon Cherie" France cooed, taking the shy one's hands," I simply can't stop thinking what beautiful name you must possess!"

The grinner snorted," Her name's Asher," she chuckled," you can't possibly tell me that that boy name's beautiful!"

France raised an eyebrow and went to her next," And what might your name be, my pretty flower?" He mused, tilting the grinner's chin with his finger so that their eyes met.

The grinner smirked, a challenging glint in her eyes," the name's Elyk. And by the looks of it, you're wishing for a harem… aren't you?"

France stepped back in shock,"H-how did you know?" he exclaimed.

"Mind reader!" Elyk smirked. Bigger.

"The author told us," Asher said, making Elyk scowl.

"Killjoy," she muttered.

"Treehugger,"Asher snarled back.

"Masochist!" Elyk roared.

"Sadist! Rapist! Pervert!" Asher screamed.

Elyk smiled sweetly," Why thank you!"

Asher glared at her, before turning to France," you gonna wish it or not?" she asked irritated.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure…"France stared at the ground.

"You said sure!" Elyk cheered, knowing full well that that wasn't what he meant. But white flashed everywhere anyway, and they were right outside the world meeting door, a few minutes before the world meeting was to start.

**France-nii-sama, I'm not sure what to do…**

**Elyk: make him do someone! Come on! I want some BDSM action!**

**France: Mon Dieu, what is this, my apprentice?**

**Asher: why am I so… confusing?**

**I'll fix it, I swear! France-nii-sama, this is what I want for you… I think.**

**Readers, I am not entirely sure what will happen to this story. Suggestions accepted. Please review!**


	2. Chappie Un - America

**SO! I really wasn't planning to continue this but then I saw my e-mail so now I know someone actually wants to read my story~!**

**Thank you to .33, N and S and F, and InsanityAintOptional**

**Warning super crack moment and sucky smut that I don't even think is good enough to be smut.**

**Somehow, Enjoy please!**

France wasn't sure what happened exactly, but he found himself in a tropical island, with the two girls having tea and cupcakes in a fancy looking gazebo, while he was sprawled on the sand in a totally not gorgeous way.

He sat up," Ugh, where are we?"

"Well," Elyk took a sip of tea before answering," Conjuring up a spell to make everybody love you is too much trouble, including the distribution and all that. So we decided to just transport you to this parallel universe sort of island with characters made and designed to love you."

"You're in an island full of France lovers," Asher summarized, taking a bite of her cupcake.

"An island full of- "France started repeating, but he was glomped from behind by someone with blond hair and glasses framing hyper blue eyes.

"Amerique?!" France said in disbelief, as the American started hugging him more.

"Of course!" America said," I'm here because I heard your heart call out to me, the HERO! Don't worry, my widdle Francy, I won't let anything bad happen to my love~!"

"I thought you said 'characters _made_ and designed to love me'?" France asked the twins, trying to get America off him at the same time.

"Well, you can't expect the author to be that original," Elyk rolled her eyes at him," This is a fanfiction after all. There's bound to be lots of crack pairings, you know."

"Why don't you just enjoy it?" Asher asked, popping another cupcake in her mouth," Isn't this what you wanted?"

France was about to answer when he happened to make eye contact with America.

"Hey, France," America pouted," Don't you like me?" He asked, giving France the puppy dog eyes.

"O-of course," France let out a nervous laugh, "I mean I helped Angleterre raise you, oui?"

"In that case, "America's face morphed to a… rape face," I'm topping you."

Too late, France realized he let his guard down. America held him by the hair and kissed him fiercely, taking advantage of his parted lips and sliding his tongue in the Frenchman's mouth. Lost in the moment, France let his own tongue tangle with the other, tasting each other. He vaguely saw Asher wave her hand around before a picnic blanket appeared beneath them. America's hands went from France's hair to his back, sliding down slowly, and grabbing hold of the hem of his shirt, tugged it off, not once breaking the kiss. France complied, pulling away momentarily to get his shirt off.

America continued touching, teasing France's nipples and smiling devilishly upon receiving a sort of groan. They continued kissing, and when France tried getting America's clothes off, the latter just continued touching, not letting France get anywhere.

Biting back a moan when America touched a particularly wonderful spot on his back, France was filled with irritation and frustration. It allowed him to clear his head for a moment, reminding him that he was the country of love, and so he must also give, not just receive. He ripped America's shirt in two, neither of them actually caring, and their arms slid over each other, muscles being caressed and appreciative sounds being made.

But this only lasted for a minute or two, because America decided to break ther kiss once again to pull off France's pants. He took off his own jeans, including his underwear, showing a bulging erection. **(I want to kill myself for this) **Seeing so much dominance in America's eyes, France whimpered appreciatively before letting America touch his own growing erection. It was him at the bottom anyways.

Slowly- agonizingly slowly- America made France turned around, so that he could proceed with the slipping of certain parts into other certain parts. France suppressed another moan when America slid his penis into France's butt, pushing and pulling until finally, France let out a deliciously audible moan and America finally went.

"Your turn," America half panted the words, but still making it come out in a seductive way. Without changing positions, he reached for France's penis and started making France moan with so much pleasure he thought he might break. Unable to stop himself France came in America's hands, quite literally.

The both of them collapsed beside each other on the now dirty, innocent and unsuspecting picnic blanket, breathing heavily and falling asleep in each others arms.

**Me: Did I do okay, France-nii-sama?**

**France: erhm...**

**Me: T_T" Uhm... Don't answer that.**

**I can't believe I wrote this. Imagining it is one thing, but writing it is another. Plus I suck. By the way, I plan to put one or two OCs here for one chapter (or maybe two) so anyone got any ideas? And also, which country should go next? I may also just pull a random one out of this cool hat I got from Canada. Tell me what you think, may it be good or may it be ugly, in the wonderful form of reviews. Thank you~!**


	3. Tried but failed miserably

**I am crazy. And I'm also commemorating Germany-France friendship day which was... almost months ago already. Also, this is a form of self torture because I didn't celebrate Prussia's birthday ( Jan. 18) and now I hate myself. I will continue to hate myself until Canada's birthday comes or until I get more reviews. Speaking of that wonderful motivator, thank you to theawesomeisadora! here ya go!  
**

**EDIT: I have made my undying love for France-nii-sama resurface and will now let this story take a serious turn. Also, after this chap, there will be no more smut (partly coz I suck in it) and I will actually start considering France-nii-sama's feelings! And the fairies will be getting really sucky scoldings from a certain someone.**

* * *

When France woke up, his little America had left, and Asher was making a sand castle, which Elyk was getting ready to pour water on once she finished. The blond nation sat up in the dirty picnic blanket and watched them for a while.

"What are you kids thinking?" he finally asked," You're not even supposed to be indulging yourselves in these kinds of, eh, 'wishes'."

"Not your problem," Elyk said, splashing the almost finished sand castle.

"Fuck you, Elyk," Asher said, standing up and kicking the sand,"And you, monsieur, better get out of here before the American copy gets back."

"Dare I ask why?" France asked.

"He's got more than the usual loose strings, courtesy of the writer," Elyk answered, giggling," I love this~"

"Anyways, you should go and run," Asher said," We'll take care of the little kid."

Elyk giggled some more," have fun with the next one!" she said before tossing France a small bag," And wear this once you get to the light house."

"ah, oui," France mumbled, walking in the opposite direction as the twins while sifting through the contents of the bag. It was nothing special, just some clean clothes that slightly resemble his own casual ones. When he came to the lighthouse, he looked back and found that the twins were almost just two dots on the horizon.

France hesitated before entering. Something was surely bound to happen while he was inside. It was true he had fantasized about a harem at least once after he found out what it meant from Japan, but he wished he had the choice to pick which nations he would prefer. He can only hope neither Belarus nor Russia nor any of the other creepy nations would be included.

After a while, France just sighed and went inside to at least change into cleaner clothes.

The inside was dark, with a light coming from wherever the spiraling staircase in the corner led to. This was no problem for France, since he was used to dressing in the dark. After quickly changing, he opted to explore a little. There was another door near the staircase, and he walked cautiously to it. But before he could get halfway to his destination, he was hit hard from behind, and he lost consciousness quite fast.

* * *

When France woke up, he was tied to a chair, with two figures looking at him and conversing in the shadows. They seemed to be really nervous, though. And France was pretty sure he recognized the voices, even though all he heard was murmured whispers. Finally, one of them emerged from the shadows, and France wasn't sure how to react.

It was Prussia, with an honest to goodness serious, I'm-gonna-torture-you-till-you're-begging-to-tell- the-truth look on his face. France hadn't seen that look since... since way before world war two. He had hoped never to see that look on his friend's face again... but... was it really him?

"So," Prussia said," Are you the real France? or are you just a fucked up copy like the rest of the island?"

At this, France was confused. But he answered anyway," I'm not a copy," he said, his words sounding strange for some reason.

Prussia narrowed his eyes," You don't want to just fuck everybody?"

France rolled his eyes at him,"I would not want to _just fuck_. I, mon cher, would want to make l'amour."

" It's him," Prussia nodded and the other person- who turned out to be Spain- jumped at France and embraced him with a wide grin.

" So you're both the real ones, oui?" France asked as Spain happily untied him.

"Ja," Prussia nodded," We found ourselves here two days ago, and we kept meeting up with these fucked up clones or something and if it wasn't for my awesome, Toni would have been raped by Poland by now." Spain shuddered. So... much... pink...

"Mon Dieu," France said under his breath," This is very scary, non? Mais... two days? That would mean this was all planned! Who would be evil enough to do this...?"

"Don't know," Prussia shrugged," Anyway, so what now? We have to get out of here, or I am gonna kill someone."

France laughed nervously," Well, I may be able to help us get out, but I am going to need your help..." He motioned for the other two to come closer as a plan formed in his head.

* * *

"Hey, Elyk," Asher said, sitting on the beach with a juice box,"D'ya think any of the other fairies are gonna tell on us?"

Elyk rolled her eyes at her sister," Of course they are," She said," Specially Memy. She never did like having too much fun."

Asher frowned,"I wonder if Arthur would do anything, though."

"Probably not," Elyk scoffed," He'd be too busy with his own life, that's for sure."

An uncertain silence settled between them.

"I wonder why we stick with him," Elyk said quietly," We've met other countries with magic, right?"

"Well," Asher thought," He's always so open with us, even though others can't see us, and... we can't leave him... I think he'd be heartbroken if we did."

Elyk sighed and frowned," Stupid emotional git," She muttered," Why does he have to be so adorable?"

"I agree, mon chere," France's (wonderfully hot and FRENCH) voice floated above them, and they turned to see a pleasantly smiling France who had sneaked up behind them," Mon petite lapin had always been too cute for his own good, non?"

* * *

I am so sorry. As you can see, I tried as hard as I can but... I just can't continue this. It was supposed to be just sex writing practice, and then...

Yeah so hate me and shit. After this I'll be posting an EnglandxGreece sex scene then I am done with this thing.

I'm so sorry, I really am. But I can't do this.

...

Fine.

Let's assume that France convinced the two fairies to return things back to normal and make the other nations involved think of it as a dream. Since then, he had been quite acquainted with Angleterre's other fairies, though he never did let anyone find out about it.

...

Yeah, I know I suck. Well, this is what happens to me when I get a single bloody review in what? Four or six months? Well whatever. It was a damn long time, but seriously. Telling someone they're horrible or good doesn't take more than a few fucking minutes am I right? No?

I know I probably sucked though. Yeah... I don't like reviewing sucky stories either. Sorry about the rant, etc.

So there.

I really am sorry. If it's any consolation, I have another story, though there's no smut or any hardcore. If you don't like that, there's still the next and last chapter.

...I'm so goddamn sorry... really.

...

Funny thing is, I don't even know who I'm apologizing to. Or even if there's anyone there.


	4. And so this is the end

**Sorry for going on an unnecessary rant last chapter. Here's the sucky I'm-sorry-I-won't-be-continuing-this-so-here's-my- consolation thingie. I found this in one of my notebooks, so... yeah. This has nothing to do with the story, but hey, at least it's something.**

* * *

The sounds of groans and pleasured moans floated out the window cracks, but the two individuals responsible paid no heed.

He thrust unto him and he pushed back, their hips grinding together in harmony. Heated, slick hands roamed all over each other's bodies, feeling and touching with every move. Lips scrunched together as their tongues danced and playfully wove around and made a deeply passionate melody without music.

Slowly, his hands traced the wet sticky skin of the other's stomach, braking the kiss as his tongue followed the fingers' path.

The other moaned with pleasure, squirming beneath his muscular partner. Tongue and hands roamed down and about, until he was holding his thighs, which he gently pushed out of the way, and his lips found its target.

Arthur shivered, and Heracles took it as a sign to suck harder, his tongue coating Arthur's erection with hot sticky saliva.

"H-hey," Arthur whimpered", P-please... I'm going to... ah... come..."

Heracles pulled away slowly, letting his lips slide over the skin, He started rubbing Arthur's head and both of them adjusted their positions.

"You can come into my hands," Heracles whispered to the back of Arthur's neck, his breath hot, his voice deep and his tone sultry.

Arthur gasped at every small rub, until he couldn't contain it anymore and he came.

"Hmm," Heracles licked some of the white liquid from his fingers", my turn."

Arthur gave a feeble nod, his breathing heavy. His eyes were half closed, and he gasped when Heracles slowly slipped his penis inside him, thrusting and shifting slowly", H-Heracles!"

The usually quiet man let out low groans and gasped when he finally came, and the both of them lay on the wet sticky bed panting,

"How many does that make it?" Arthur gasped, looking at the Grecian beside him.

"I think... 8?" Heracles stared at the ceiling", No... maybe 10... yeah, 10. You... give up yet?"

Arthur let out a half-hearted laugh", Pirates don't take back their bets." He took a mental note never to make a sex bet with the man ever again.

* * *

**... so there... thank you, and sorry.**


End file.
